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A Covergirl's Drama

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April 14th, 2006

02:41 am - Its been a very long while
Sometimes i wonder if life goes on while im sleeping. Apparently it does. Once again i am face with insomnia. I dont understand why my body will not rest. I feel so tired but yet so wide awake. I force myself to lay lifeless in bed while closing my eyes and pretending to fall asleep, however i am only pretendind. I lay there while my mind races at a thousand miles per hour. And nothing comes from it. I cant solve problems or issues that i am faces with.

I let myself go. its been awhile since i have posted a journal. this is because i let myself go. sometimes i fear what might happen if i continue to stay active on live journal. i engaged in a lifestyle that has taken me years to fix. i sometimes wish i could go back but than again i am afaird of what will happen.

I will stay around and in times of need i will do my best to post my lifes mistakes for everyone to judge.
Current Location: Apartment
Current Mood: awake

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December 8th, 2004

01:47 am - Long Time Loves
Well I guess its about time for an update. Its been a hell of a long time since I have even managed to update. Its also kinda ironice that I can find the time to do an update while Im in the middle of finals week. But I guess I will do whatever it takes to not study. School can stress you out like a mother fucker. Its insane how much pressure I am dealing with but in the end Im sure it will all work out. I have a class that I am just about passing. If I fail it and dont recieve any credit for taking it I will flip out. The time I have spent reading a whole lotta bull shit books better pay off with at least a 1.0+.

I just had my ankle surgery and am entirely in a cast for 8 weeks. It has only been two weeks and I am about to rip this bitch off. It is so annoying. I cant even exercise.... and the holidays are going to make it all worse.

My birthday is right around the corner on the 30th and I couldnt be more excited. I am not sure what the plans will be but I am hopeing to go all out. New years is going to be a crazy ass bash in Birmingham. I wanted to go to the party in New York that Jenna Jameson is hosting, but I dont see that actually becomeing reality. I went to a gay bar and had a blast. Kinda amazing how I never once had to worry about some sick fuck running up to me and grabbing my tits and ass. I love lesbians.

Christmas break is here, which means all the old school troy trash re-unite. Im sure there will be some wild and crazy times. I miss my whores like crazy and cant wait for the fun times to begin. I got my ears pierced again now totaling 9 all together in my ears, and a few others....

Well thats the update for now, Im sure I will have some great stories soon!
Current Mood: crazycrazy

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October 24th, 2004

09:37 pm
About you
Name: Rachel
Sex: Female
Age: 19
Height: Just about 6 foot
Hair: Bleach Blonde on top, dark on bottom..
Eyes: Blue
Ethnicity: White, but I do tan
Location: Rochester, Michigan
Body type: Normal.. Im a lotta leg
Music: Gavin Degraw right now
Occupation: Student Currently.
School: Oakland University
Interests: Tattoos, Piercings, Parties, Drinking, Dancing, Friends, Having fun.
Turn offs/Pet Peeves: Bad -teeth, breath, and smells.
Ideal Date: Something Wild and unique. Im not the typical dinner and a movie kind of date.. unless of corse that movie includes Jenna Jameson.
What you learned from your last relationsip: Dont believe eveything you hear, if it sounds to good to be true.. hes probably full of a load of shit.

Perfact Match Includes

Sex: Male
Age: 21-29
Height: 6 +
Ethnicity: white
Location: Michigan
Hair: (Just not bald)
Eyes: (as long as there are 2 of them- doesnt matter)
Body type: no fat asses please
Music: all EXCEPT: - weird heavy metal, Country, and Marilyn Manson shit
Occupation: A real job -fast food industry doesn't count
School: Please be somewhat educated
Any Specifics about the perfect man: Good teeth, Must be ready for fun. Looking from someone Spontanious.

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October 22nd, 2004

03:54 am

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03:39 am - Update!
Hello Loves,

Halloween is approaching. Just days away. I am going to be Jenna Jameson with a touch of S & M cop. Tomorrow I plan on getting a wip. I am actually going to be wearing fishnets, boy shorts, heels, a boustier, leather hat, handcuffs and a badge. Hopefully I wont feel like a huge fat ass.

Well it has been a long ass time since I have attempted to do an update. I have been under the weather... just about 6 feet under. Some major surgerys and crazy hormones have left me feeling partly insane. I am finally getting myself and my life back into the swing of things. 7 weeks ago I realized that I am powerless of alochol. I have committed myself to AA. I am 7 weeks sober. I realized that my life was already in danger if I continued to drink the way I was.

Amanda is my soulmate. I have never realized what a ture friend is until moving in with the one person that makes me feel real. I have gained a respect for myself and others that over takes the reality of a friendship.

School has been a whole lotta bull shit. In fact there are days that I wonder if I am actually doing the right thing for myself. Often I am confused as to what the future holds.

well thats somewhat it for now, promise to keep in better contact.
Current Mood: coldcold

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August 10th, 2004

01:02 am
Its something about stroms that really turn me on. Kinda freakish I know. But the sound of rain hitting the roof and windows... the sight of lighting flashing like a camera. And the orgasmic sounds of rumbling thunder. Kinda reminds me all of porn. Its storming right now and Im enjoying every second of it. I want to run outside naked and laydown in the soaked grass letting the rain run all over my body. Staring into the black sky that is pouring down on top of me. Yea yea.

Anyways.... Im moving back to school finally after 4 long months of an endless summer. It seems that school is actually having a positive effect. Currently I am counting the days and seconds until I will be living with Amanda on my own once again. The freedom unleashes a side of me that I never knew existed.

The dream cruise is coming up and I couldnt be more excited to accidentily run into the guy that fuck me over big time. I have the ideal plan. Im going to get my ass dressed up like perfection.. JENNA JAMESON style and then accidently run into him while Im with my girlfriend.. Its too bad he didnt want me... he could have had us both.

Love to you all. -Rachel

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August 7th, 2004

11:03 pm
Ahh Jenna Jameson the sweet success of perfection.

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July 21st, 2004

12:27 am
God guys! I swear to god. Sometimes I find it more appealing to become a fucking lesbian rather than deal with drama these damn penis bearing boys have.

You fucking asshole. Whats the deal with you saying you want me to come over and than not calling? at least you could call me back... but no that might be a little too much effort. You dont want to seem like your trying too hard. You dont want me to think your sitting around waiting for me. But in all honestly I think your pretty much retarded

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July 17th, 2004

12:59 pm - I am trouble
Yea so it just so happens to be that I threw my second chance out the window. As my parents say "Your on the last thread. One more chance and if you screw this one up your gone. we mean GONE" lalalalala

Im sorry mommy I never meant to lie to you, it was just the fact that I was completely wasted and I dont even remember the lie that I told. I remember the concert... the drunk dialing old boyfriends and the weird peoples numbers that are still in my phone book from god knows when. I remember trying to pump gas and forgeting to pay I think. I saw Lindsey and said some shit that I dont remember but it has gotten me into worse trouble..... Then I saw you. Standing there with the little puppy.

We went and got more beer. Drove back to your house. I played with the puppy as I insanely drank more and more. I was unable to contain my drinking habits. I was under no control. The next thing I knew i was half naked swimming in the pool. The sun was begining to make an appearance. Chris is telling me we need to go. I crawl into the car insisting that I am fine.... puke all the way home get to the house and fall asleep (passout) in a chair with the hairdryer blowing on me.

Wake up hair dryer still going... vomit on me and then I get locked out of the house. Drive home crying yesterdays makeup all over my face. I get the key go back clean up and come home. My bed at last. Sleep 18 hours and still puking worst hangover of all time.

Mom and dad wake me up and all hell breaks lose. Shit hit the fan and madness was unleashed. Am I in trouble?? ahh dont be silly I AM TROUBLE.

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June 28th, 2004

12:56 am - I Love You
I don't need your strength anymore
Cause you've made me strong
You may not see the one light in me
And you dreamed of
Holding me in your arms

All the days that you gave
All the moments you've saved me,
Praying for my life
Sacrificed, just to make me who I am on my own
You don't have to let go

You don't say it
But it's in your eyes
All the fears of good-bye
But I can promise
You'll always have a place, and a way to my heart

All the days that you gave
All the moments you've saved me,
Praying for my life
Sacrificed, just to make me who I am on my own
You don't have to let go

I can live
Cause you lived for me
And I can love
Because you loved me.

All the days that you gave
All the moments you've saved me,
Praying for my life
Sacrificed, just to make me who I am on my own
You don't have to let go

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